Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:25-28
The purpose of authority is to serve, empower, and equip. Those in authority have an opportunity to lay a foundation that others can be built up upon. They have the opportunity to shape and mold, and to guide people toward their gifts and callings. But unhealthy people, such as narcissists, only focus on what authority affords them. They love positions of authority so they can exploit people and insist on their way. In a parent-child dynamic, an unhealthy parent will use their authority to maintain compliance and to belittle the feelings and needs of their child. In the workplace, unhealthy individuals use their authority to instill fear in their subordinates. They want to look good as leaders, at any cost, and do not care about the people they work with. In a marriage, an unhealthy spouse will use their authority to insist on how their spouse and children must treat them, while they do not have to behave lovingly or respectfully toward them.
Unfortunately, the church has taught mixed messages on authority. On the one hand, we know that those in authority are supposed to serve. But on the other hand, incomplete teachings on submission have emboldened people to abuse the authority that they have. Yet Jesus’s teachings are clear. He came to serve and not to be served. And we have our freedom from the bondage of sinful desires in Him. Paul points to Christ’s heart in Galatians 5:13 which says, “You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.” We are not to use our freedoms to indulge ourselves, our wishes, or our preferences. We are to use freedom and authority to lay down our life for one another.
We must become students of other people and draw close to God. It is important to esteem others enough that we learn their about their gifts and the ways that we might add to their lives. In a parent-child relationship, this might look like identifying the child’s interests and spending time doing activities that make them come alive. In the workplace, this may look like presenting projects where people can grow based on their skills and interests. In marriage, this may look like partnering to help your spouse accomplish a dream. We should serve people as God instructs and let Him transform any ungodly and selfish desires that would cause us to harm others through our misuse of authority.
When a person seeks to lord it over another, pointing to their position, instead of the serving function of their role, they are not aligned to God’s heart or His ways. They are living out the fruit of the world’s system and this causes destruction in the family unit. This person is not following after God, but after self.
God can transform our hearts in the area of authority when we see His true nature. God doesn’t usurp anyone’s free will in order to get what He wants and neither should we. By submitting ourselves wholly to God, we can learn how to submit mutually to others. The mutual deference to one another is a wonderful picture of the Trinity and a powerful example of authority in unity.
Let’s allow our Father to download His heart for authority to us and transform us today!